Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
