Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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