420 ftw
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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