Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
