i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
