I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
