Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
