So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
