Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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