i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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