everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
