i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
