I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
