Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
