I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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