She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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