U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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