I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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