I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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