ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
