I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have tasted many bathrooms
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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