I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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