At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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