Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
