We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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