The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
