So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
