You can't motorboat a personality
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
