We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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