my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
