I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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