Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize