Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
