Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
