Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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