she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize