She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize