i think my tv is drunk
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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