So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
