I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
