Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize