my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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