She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
