I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
