hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
