ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You smell like stripper and shame
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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