Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
