I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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