Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
