Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
