we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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