White coat. Heels.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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