That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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