so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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