Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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