boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
