Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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