physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
