Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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