HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
