We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
