I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize