dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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