No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
